I am in my 40's married and still can't understand

Why, why do things get out of control? Why do couples fight all the time? Why do couples go a year or more w/o sex? why do I always feel I do nothing right? why does every discussion turn into an arguement?

Can you answer any of these questions? Well, don't feel bad if you can't. I have been trying for years, with no avail....

I did read somewhere to find the joy in the loniness that you live, let go of the rope that is tugging at you and release for a breathe of fresh air so to speak. OMG<>

How, how can you take a break from your spouse in the same house? It says, it is ok for things not to be where you want them at this time and just take that break and breathe. give me a break. I think it takes more than, oh, I guess today, I will let go of this rope that we are tugging on and just take a break, yeah right. Only thing is the negavive still goes on and on and on....

So, what do you think of lowing your expectations of your spouse, your life and wow, even yourself. Why, why should I put down all my expectations that I have just to ponder and somedays just beat my head to the wall. I am sure you have had those days, more than once.

So, how can you fix a broken/bad marriage, you can't unless both partners are willing and patient. Often people sometimes have to intervine, because, they can't agree. So, going to a marriage counselor could be an option, who knows. I can tell you that I am so sick of being told, ok, now imagaine this "YOU NEED TO LEARN TO RIDE LIKE A PASSENGER"-MEANING- we were driving south on the turnpike and got off and in a busy/large city, I was reading the newspaper, looked up and WOW, right in front of us a car, I mean we were almost touching the bumper. And, I said OMG, he is like, WHAT??, I said Jesus, you are so close, hey, he said, "you were reading the paper and suddenly looked up, you don't even know what happened.", then we got home, I was a bit quite due to the fact that on the way back, he said "YOU NEED TO LEARN TO RIDE AS A PASSENGER IN A CAR", Piss me off-Makes me feel stupid.